Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Bring me that man meat
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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