Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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