I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
