..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
