that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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