There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
