You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
