Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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