Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
