Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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