Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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