So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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