arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
