I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize