And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
