i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
