I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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