i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
