Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
