but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
