At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
