he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
