if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
