I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
