just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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