i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
