i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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