What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
