i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
