I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
