Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
