new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
