Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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