I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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