Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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