I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
