Yo dont text me then not text me
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize