yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
