Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
