Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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