FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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