We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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