that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize