google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
