I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize