please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
