HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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