lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
