Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
