WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
