Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
