would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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