he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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