i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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