I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
