Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
