Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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