I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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