He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
