Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
