You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
