I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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