Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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