Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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