I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
