Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it because I queefed?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
