if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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