the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
